why I never have money

Today I just paid my apartment fee through the bank. I did this with the help of my Chinese friend, because here in Japan everything is in kanji, so even basic things like paying your rent is a little difficult for an illiterate girl like me. Anyway, since we used the bank, now he kinda knows the amount of money that is inside my bank account. Shit. I'm so 恥ずかし (ashamed). I am so poor.

And inevitably, while we cycled to campus, he asked me "Where is all your money?". hmm where to begin..

The thing is that I actually have quiet a big salary (aka scholarship) but it puzzles me why with all that money I am still so so poor.. Seriously, why don't I ever have money?

I will gladly blame my dad for everything, because he died last year I had to go back to Indonesia, which cost me a hell lot of money, since I bought the ticket at the airport. but well, it was not really that expensive, it shouldn't have made me broke..

So you might say, maybe you are spending too much money, maybe you eat in restaurants, buy a lot of clothes etc. but the answer is no, I don't do all that. I am one of those people who don't turn on their heater a whole month in winter because I wanted to save gas and electricity. And as for food, I cook. I cook to save money. and clothes.. the whole winter I used only the sweaters I brought from Indonesia, I didn't buy anything new.. So I have no idea why I am broke.

But well I do know why.

I am poor because I travel too much. I spent so much money on travelling I am always left with no money at all.. And then there comes the never ending question.. is it all worth it? My friend said once that when you travel you are left with nothing. Really?

The way I was raised is that travelling is essential in growing as a person. Of course one can not judge ones self growth, so I might be totally biased when I say that I have learned a lot here in Japan, with all the travelling I have done. but If you asked me, I have gained a lot of experience, and although I am always always so poor, but I arrive richer after every journey. hmm hopefully this makes sense.

There is no point in living your life the same everyday with the same routine everyday, and there is no point on saving all your money and leave it in your bank, there is no point in having it all if you can not have the time to see the world. So that is why if I have the opportunity to travel, I will always choose to travel. It is like a hunger inside of me. well of course as time goes, and if someday I have a family, these priorities might change, but I will always try to travel with my family. My children need to see the world. travelling is part of living.

I'm crunching numbers in my head again, because i want to go to Kyoto next weekend. I know I will have to live miserably again because after the trip I would probably be broke again, but that never stopped me. So listen guys, at this moment, what I know is that life is short, you never know when your time is up, so pick your priorities, work hard, and always always find time to travel and see what is out there. This way you know that the world is beautiful and that makes life a thousand times more endurable.